Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It really is a Happy Chanukah -- first time since 2009

This year Chanukah is truly a happy one for me. I have not had a Happy Chanukah since before December 2009.

December 2009 was my first Chanukah alone.  I remember returning home after work on the first night of Chanukah.  I had set up my Chanukiah the night before and had planned to light the candles and sing Maoz Tzur when I came home from work.  Well, I got home, and I attempted to do so.  But I couldn't. I could not bring myself to light the candles alone, and to sing the songs.  I just was SO SO SO lonely.  I had no children with me, no family with me, no friends with me and I was just SO alone.  I think I curled up on the sofa and cried.

I did manage to celebrate Chanukah in 2010, more or less -- I was able to be with my brother and his family for some of it, in Baltimore.  I was busy -- with work, and a bit of a social life.  I was also very much in the mode of accepting my new reality and creating a new reality by planning for my aliyah.  It was still not a particularly HAPPY Chanukah yet, for me, but I was trying.

This year, 2011, I can say that it is a Happy Chanukah.  I am busy. I have my family close to me. I am not alone. I am not lonely.  I have many many good friends.  I have two grandsons who are absolutely precious.  My youngest grandson just came home from the hospital, recovered from his bout of viral meningitis, B"H.

We gave a present to Gavriel and it was SUCH a pleasure to watch him open it and delight in playing with it.  I lit candles with my family, and we sang together.  I am meeting many new people, and having a nice life.

Thank you, G-d!

Happy Chanukah to all my family and friends. I love you all...

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